


Tears Me Up Inside

by Brumeier



Series: Bite Sized Fic 2020 [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Emotional Baggage, F/M, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Prompt Fill, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22370122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: LJ Comment Fic for 80s Music Lyrics prompt:any, any, To hear that tears me up inside And to see you cuts me like a knife (Every Rose has a Thorn by Poison)In which Jennifer returns to Atlantis and finds something she didn't expect.
Relationships: Jennifer Keller/Rodney McKay, Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Series: Bite Sized Fic 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610332
Comments: 23
Kudos: 161
Collections: Bite Sized Bits of Fic from 2020





	Tears Me Up Inside

Jennifer stepped through the Gate, surprised at the level of nostalgia it brought up in her. She hadn’t known she’d miss that. Just one step, a feeling of pulling-falling-stretching, and she was a whole galaxy away. Did anyone ever become inured to that?

“Wow. Is it like that all the time?”

Savannah Amberly, Jennifer’s research partner, stepped through the event horizon with wide, wide eyes.

“Every time,” Jennifer said with a grin.

Vanna was carrying the case containing the reason for Jennifer’s return after so many years. It was cutting-edge medical equipment, a combination of Ancient, Asgardian, and Earth-based technology, and Atlantis would be the first site to get to test it out.

“I can’t believe you left all this,” Vanna said, turning in circles to take in the entirety of the Gate room.

It hadn’t been an easy decision. There’d been Rodney to think about, and her career. Not to mention her peace of mind. Atlantis hadn’t been an easy place to live, not even taking into account all the things that could – and frequently did – go wrong offworld.

“Dr. Keller. It’s nice to see you again. Dr. Amberly, welcome to Atlantis.”

Ambassador Woolsey was waiting to greet them, looking dapper as always in his Athosian-crafted suit.

“Richard. It’s good to see you, too.” Jennifer gave him a hug. “Should I be concerned that you don’t look a day older than the last time I saw you?”

“Clean living,” Richard replied, lips twitching up into a smile. “Do you remember the way to the medical wing?”

“Like I never left,” Jennifer assured him.

It wasn’t the same, though. For one thing, she and Vanna were outfitted with security bracelets that would only give them access to approved areas. For another, Atlantis was a proper city now and there were far more people in the halls than there ever had been when Jennifer was still living there.

“People are gonna go nuts for this place,” Vanna said. “An alien city in a distant galaxy.”

The SGC had been declassified, for the most part. Atlantis was still under wraps, as was Mars Base ERB. One step at a time, Jennifer supposed.

And then she heard him, ranting at top volume somewhere around the next corner.

“Are you out of your tiny little mind?”

Jennifer was frozen in place. The moment she’d been alternately dreading and looking forward to had arrived, and sooner than she’d planned.

“Jenn? You okay?”

“Rodney.”

Vanna knew all about Rodney, how Jennifer had fallen for him during the incident with the parasite, and how he’d ultimately chosen Atlantis over their relationship. Jennifer thought enough time had passed but hearing Rodney’s voice made her feel unsteady all over again. She’s honestly loved him, once upon a time. And she knew he’d loved her.

Jennifer hadn’t made room in her life for love since then, focusing entirely on her career. Just like Rodney had.

“He sounds angry,” Vanna said in hushed tones.

“That’s his everyday voice,” Jennifer replied. 

She got herself moving, rounding the corner to see Rodney jabbing his finger in John Sheppard’s shoulder. General Sheppard, now. It was such a familiar sight that Jennifer felt an ache in her chest she knew had no medical basis. It was just like old times.

Except for the part where Sheppard countered that jabbing finger with a surprisingly passionate kiss. 

Jennifer stopped in her tracks again, feeling so many things she had a hard time naming them all. Betrayal was the one that floated to the top first. How long had Rodney been into Sheppard? Was that the real reason he hadn’t embraced her vision of their happily ever after?

The look Sheppard was giving Rodney was the most open Jennifer ever remember seeing him. Ever. There was love and affection in his eyes, at least until he looked up and saw Jennifer, and then his face went carefully blank.

“McKay,” Sheppard said, nudging at him.

“What? Why do you look like…oh. Jenn. I forgot you were due in today.”

Well, that was flattering. Jennifer had a scolding response ready to go, and then she remembered they didn’t have that kind of relationship anymore.

“You look good, Rodney,” she said instead.

Rodney looked pleased. “I’ve been working out.”

Jennifer could see it, now that she was looking for it. Rodney was in good physical shape, and despite his earlier biting words and finger jabbing, he looked happy. Settled. Had he ever been that happy when he was with her? She couldn’t honestly say, and that was really all she needed to know about their relationship.

Maybe the real reason she’d come back to Atlantis was to find some closure. 

“We have to go,” Rodney said, actually sounding apologetic. “You want to get together and have dinner? The, uh. The four of us?”

“That would be great.”

She watched him walk away, hand-in-hand with Sheppard, and blinked unexpected tears out of her eyes.

“You okay?” Vanna asked, a sympathetic hand on Jennifer’s shoulder.

“Just old memories. I’ll be okay.”

Jennifer swiped at the corners of her eyes, took a deep breath, and composed herself. She had a job to do. When she was back home again, maybe she’d change up her priorities just a little. Find someone she could be happy with.

It was time to let go of the past.


End file.
